Asusual

Hi,

 

Today was moderate………….not much energy………..it was like everyday……….woke up early……..then went back to my bed…………then an extended and relaxing sleep………..then I finally got up……….studied a little……….so that I don’t feel guilty that I am not doing anything………..soon my days in my present company would be over…………..9th of May would me my last working day………….over the past year……….so many memories would be staying with me all my life……….some good some great…………bad ones……….I forgot them already……..except some………they would take some time…….anyhow………I am feeling better……….my health is improving………..and now I would take no chances……….. until…….it is very essential……….had a good time in my office today………..friends I don’t understand why keep on mocking me all the time……….I guess they like the fact that I don’t get mad over silly things……….so they go full on crazy……….they would call me names…………and what not………I crack PJ’s on them…………and then they would say that………..He’s like this……..crazy and dumb………its no use to make him understand……………they even call me a retard…………and then we all laugh like crazy………..everyone likes our stupidity…………and wants to be a part of it…………..I have told all of them that I write a blog……..and I guess everyone has been here discretely………….and its good isn’t it………..I don’t have to say everything………..and all they have to read through all my crazy writing……………and understand what has been happening with me………..well the only thing that makes me feel a little bad is that…………..when they all say that…………soon you would be gone………who would be there to mock………..and I guess they are correct………..its because I don’t go crazy over what they say………they mock me and have so much fun together………….once I would be gone………they would continue doing this and yup……….someday or the other………someone would take it to his mind…………….and that’s where things are going to get bad……….and then some low days would go by…………but let’s not worry about the future now………..it will eventually resurface………and than I would deal with it accordingly………….I am still compiling the post that would contain the drafts……….that I saved for Upasana………..the idiotic things I did to share my feelings with her someday…………..but that day has never arrived till now………..so I will put them here……….maybe someday she would go through them……….maybe never……….who cares now……….I have a life to live……….and yes this song……saathi salaam by Sawan khan manganiyar and Clinton cerejo……..gives me goose bumps……listening to this while writing…….enjoy!

Bouncing Back

Hi,

Today too I woke up late……….my body cycle has changed………..and it is getting harder to bounce back to the normal routine and body cycle………….moreover there had been multiple instances of fever and cold happening over the past few months…………I want to get over these health issues……………I am now eating healthy diet……………and have started mild exercises too…………today I had an Interview………but i missed it……..as I was late and then the venue was around 45 minutes bus ride away………….anyhow…….I made the day count…….as I studied at home………..did a lot of introspection…………to formulate a plan for my career growth…………and yes………played a lot of video game too………..and in the end………I made the blog for Abhishek Kirar……………live………..I think he liked it……….rest I would get to know…..when I would meet him face to face………to understand better………….and yes we can always customize it as he likes………..it would do him good………I think……….as he will get more audience…………he will be able to work harder……….and better………..so that was my day……….soon I would share or rather confess…………my stupidity……….that I did for Upasana…………wasting my feelings for her……….when she never cared………….I would share the emails I saved in my drafts that were meant for her…………..but I was never able to send them………..because I was never able to make up my mind about her…………….there was always a twitching at the back of my head……..that there was something wrong about her………..I just need one girl to love and be with all my life…………..and she failed badly……..I was hurt at first……….but now I am bouncing back to my awesome self………..I guess I am boasting about myself……….but hey……….we all are awesome………..in one way or another………..and hey the blogs address is http://abbycaprediem.wordpress.com/………..

Aside

Unfriend

Hi,

I am not feeling well these days……….cough, cold, headache…………so its like I am on a high with medicines all the time………..they make me sleepy…………….and I get mood swings too…………I am fed up of the life I have at present……………screwed up social life………time constraints……..money constraints………yesterday I started to write down…………I thought I would finish writing a post for my blog………….but I end up saving it as a draft……….I appreciate the love and support of fellow bloggers………they motivate and encourage me to write……….today I thought about moving on………….from every crap I have been hanging on to………..like Upasana and her memories………….well they wont go………..but i can do things that would not remind me of her………..so I deleted her from my facebook account………….and some stupid assholes like Dushyant and…………the crazy bitch Shaifalee…………she didn’t responded to my holi wishes even…………so these people are deleted………..now I will be reminded about the less and it would be easier for me to move on and think about better things……………..I would concentrate on my career and finances……………I would be able to devote better time to my family………..and of course……….I would write more………….

Randomized

Hi,

 

Its holi season………..In India its a very lively and colorful festival…………but I don’t intend to play a lot………I will do a mild celebration………I am not in very good mood now days due to the people back in office who are manipulative and lying always………but yes I made some great friends there too…………due to them I am doing my time in there………….I know and understand money is the basic reason a person looks for in a job……….and I agree with that………..but if people are not good and the office politics is flowing way overhead……….man its a hot hell………..I have moments with them………..that are never going to be forgotten………….drinks we shared…………roads we walked…………..dances we did…………..fun we made………….names we call each other with…………sorrows and everything…………..like Abhishek is about to get married………..we are planning his bachelors party………….suits already purchased………..I am joining them all as they are going to pay for me ass of now………….and I would repay them later…………..easy EMI system………;)…………that’s what friends are for………and the time would never come back………..so I will borrow……….otherwise I really dislike borrowing…………I am the kind of person…………who would like to go empty stomach…………..rather then borrow and eat………….its like a principal that I have kept………..yes I make exceptions to it………but then the reason should be good enough………..anyhow festivity is in the air……..lets I am feeling positive about my decision of submitting a resignation letter in the office………..it will do me good……….money is what I need now……….as I have commitments…………and plans to execute……..Kartik is happy with the phone……….asshole was about to buy a phone that was not worth it………. about Upasana…………my friends talk to me about her and I tell them straight that she is good for nothing………….and i don’t understand why they don’t buy that…………they try to make me feel better………like consoling……….but it does not help………..I am now thinking straight………..no emotional factor involved while I make decisions now days………..but yes I still take snap judgement…………like buying the phone for Kartik……….but yes the decision was good and well thought of…………..so I am happy about it…………and yes Sean Paul Rocks!  

Tradeoffs

Hi,

 

This week has been crazy…………..lack of sleep………….low attendance in the classes…………..son of a bitch manager in the office…………management of funds……….credit card bill……….ATM’s spilling out torn notes on me………it is like a roller coaster ride in hell…………and these are the situations where I feel I need somebody to just cover me up……………to stay by my side and rub my shoulders…………….and look me into the eyes and say…………its okay………leave this and think anew…………..everyone has to deal with this………….and you are doing just fine……….well that’s destiny and luck…………still searching for my girl………..not found her in years…………have fallen for some………..some fell for me…………but it never worked out………..as if it was not intended to………….sometimes I was reluctant……….sometimes them……….and others were a drama scene…………like Shaifalee………..she blocked me on whats app just because I wanted to be her friend…………..that’s how life is…………..going crazy, insane……….even the art of deduction of great Sherlock holmes fail here………..Upasana is a queen bitch………..the kind that top the chart………..I don’t say I am good or perfect…………but when I compare my bitch level with theirs………..they are magnanimously high on that scale……….now the coming week would be busy too…………as the shifts are getting one hour earlier………..i will get more sleep………..and I want to be regular in the classes………..but damn………..no one can function with three hours of sleep………….its like everything is falling and I have to catch each and everything……………but then I have to choose between two things which are apart……….whether sleep……….or classes…………now classes are dependent on sleep………..because without a fresh maid I would grasp nothing……….so I choose to sleep…………..at least I would be able to relax and think………

Life

Hi,

 

Today I was thinking about “life”………….what does it truly mean,  is it about survival…….or about fame…………or about making others happy, or spirituality……….I don’t know but I am searching for the answer everyday,    every passing day teaches me something new……new ways to do things………..I did things that I have never done before………….I never thought in my high school that I would ever write……never knew I had it in me to write……though I am not perfect………..who cares………I have passed that age when I would have said that someday I would do that……….If I have enough resources……….now I would love to go for it………things may not be always be right…….and sometimes I have felt that why is there so much misery in my life…………then someday on the go………I observe things that teach me……….like most of us must have skipped a meal………just because we didn’t like what was in the kitchen………or in the refrigerator………….but there are people on the streets who can hardly be choosy………..they have to eat what they could get………otherwise they can starve……….I feel pity and observe them……someday I might do something for them………I am looking for ways…….but I am still a lesser human………cant do everything on the move and perfectly………..I would make mistakes…….and I would learn from most of them……………like Upasana……..I would never regret her……….she is a great lesson……..everything was worth it……….now I feel that if she would not have been there………I would still have been emotionally fragile………..these incidents teach us lessons for lifetime…………   

 

Had a busy day today……..finally back home…………..listening to a song to divert my mind and relax……….let me share the video…….its a romantic song……….and I have updated the previous post with the video of the song as well…………enjoy 😉

 

Truth and Fiction

Hi,

I have realized that growth is not instantaneous, neither is perfection attained in a jiffy….so I got to plan and then take small steps…….baby steps……..but consistency is required………..and these steps would refine me…….day by day…..refine everything I do…….I want to be rich enough……….that before buying anything that I like………I don’t need to think about paying for it……..I would just have to point my finger……..and the thing would be mine………..but yes, I know for that I need to do things that I have not done before……….I have to work hard, smart, and consistency would be the key………let’s see how far I reach…….I am now feeling well……emotionally…….on Friday…..when we were having a blast in the office………Upasana was sitting on the floor……..and let me tell you she turned out to be a bitch………I respect women……..but this tag is justified for her………..after joining this company……..she broke up with her boyfriend……….was spending time with an Idiot…………maybe fucking around…….who knows……..I was devastated thinking about her……..now she has broke up with that guy……..and on Friday……though we are not talking…….handed me her cell phone to take a picture of her……..with friends……..and boom……..the phone rang………and it was her old boyfriend………….calling her at 6 in the morning……….what does that mean………”She’s a gold digging bitch”……she hooks up with rich assholes……….a person from a not very wealthy family would not suffice her………so I felt a sudden relief in my heart and my mind………and yes both look pathetic……..;)………..god has blessed me much more then the Idiots she is with………..riches would come with time…….no regrets………I will earn………and be self made………rather than a person………who took money from parents to live and succeed in life……..anyhow…….I am happy today………having a good time………listening to a classic………”Pukarta Chala HU Main”…….here are the lyrics………

(Pukarta chala hu mai
 Gali gali bahar ki
 Bas ek chhaanw zulf ki
 Bas ek nigaah pyaar ki) - (2)
 Pukarta chala hu mai

 Ye dillagi ye shokhiya salam ki
 Yahi to baat ho rahi hai kaam ki
 Koi to mood ke dekh lega is taraf
 Koi nazar to hogi mere naam ki
 Pukarta chala hu mai
 Gali gali bahar ki
 Bas ek chhanw zulf ki
 Bas ek nigah pyaar ki
 Pukarta chala hu mai

 Suni meri sada to kis yakin se
 Ghata utar ke aa gayi zameen pe
 Rahi yahi lagan to ai dil-e-jawa
 Asar bhi ho rahega ek haseen pe
 Pukarta chala hu mai
 Gali gali bahar ki
 Bas ek chhanw zulf ki
 Bas ek nigah pyaar ki
 Pukarta chala hu mai 

;)........keep humming...........enjoy!