Small things make huge disturbance

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I am unable to sleep…

and the worst part…

I don’t understand why….

I have to get up early today…

there is this sports day going in my office….

I am a player in basketball and tug of war team….

I think I am excited about it….

I will do whatever it takes today to win….

but I don’t have any disturbing thoughts…..

I just feel the need of someone to be near me….

I spend most of my time in my room….

its on the 3rd floor….

usually no one comes up…

I like that… as there is no disturbance of any sort….

but yes, sometimes I miss company….

I feel the need to talk to someone… who could understand me….

there is a lot to accomplish yet….

certifications are done…

need to brush up my knowledge and face interviews….

the shock I got from ebay….

I am recovering… but I would not leave them be….

I will register a complaint in consumer forum….

lets see how it goes….

maybe I will get a compensation…

else it would be an enlightening experience…..

though I feel guilty for not attending classes for past two months….

firstly I wanted to avoid ┬áher as much as possible….

and secondly… I did not wanted to travel a lot by public transport…..

so, here I am….

unable to sleep….

feeling a bit guilty….

and robbed by an eCommerce site….

but… this all made me see some aspects of my life that I did not noticed earlier….

like the music… I generally listen to….

or the kind of music available on radio….

its mostly hard and harsh beats…..

the kind of music that accelerates blood flow….

I realized that I listen to music to relax…

and this music is doing the opposite….

hence I become irritable and tired….

hence not eating well… because I am irritable…

and just want to eat food to get it over with….

so, I changed the collection…

It helped….

I feel relaxed….

hence think clearer….

and understanding better….

why do small things make such huge disturbances….

but I love the change it made me go through….

feeling better…. relaxed… not thrilled…

I think every kind of music serves a purpose….

well this is a learning for me…

with my own experiences…

But, I would like to know about yours too….

Hangover

Hi,

 

Hope you all are doing great in your life..

There have been loads of changes happening around in my life…

and i guess I am not doing great….

but I am not doing bad either…

I got a legal notice from my previous organisation for sharing….

well I think It must have did them some damage…

So, I have removed those posts…

Rahul bro. see I listen to you….

Hope that satisfies them…

But it made me feel I am being heard…

Neha is behaving in a bizarre way…

She just keeps on asking “hw r u? ?”

I told her many times I am fine and getting better…

But, she just don’t want to understand…

So, I asked her why is it… That she is showing concern for me….

she said “just like that”…

now that’s not a reason…

and I have been noticing her…. stalking me on facebook….

I go to office in the night now a days…

it is a 24 x 7 environment…

and she comes online exactly at the beginning of my shift…

she knows I would log in to facebook to check my updates…

and I see her online all the time…. but hardly a like or any post….

So, what I did was… switching chat offline for her…

so that she does not get to know that I am online….

it went on for two or three days…

and viola… there was her message…

I did not replied instantaneously… I took my own sweet time to reply…

thanks to the advice of Abhishek kirar…

and she went crazy… she called me…

she has been updating her status on whats app for me…

which I feel is very kiddish… but it makes me smile… at the same time…

I don’t understand her behavior… and what is she up to…

at one hand she says she wants to have an arrange marriage…

and she met the guy too…

and on the other she is doing all this…

I think this will only hurt me later…

she would marry and move on…

and I would be left with all these emotions inside me… that I have been suppressing….

she hardly makes a move to meet me…. nor did she ever said that she loves me ever….

it has been 3 weeks now… we have not met anywhere else…

but only in classes…

I got my timings changed too…. so that we don’t bump into each other…

but I was not able to cope up…

I feel drained….

she used to wish me good morning and evening and good night….

but not anymore….

its been 12 to 13 days of those messages not being there…

those messages used to make me feel energetic…

that someone is thinking about me all the time….

and I used to get this euphoria by just thinking about it….

well… that’s not it… she does not tells me anything… nothing about herself…

but just keep asking questions from me…

so, I hardly feel like replying…

but I feel bad to see unanswered messages…

so, I still reply to her…

I just want a clear reply…

and every time time I have asked her… she has refused…

but kept on doing all this too….

I think I should just ignore her more….

without telling her….

any advice in this regard would be highly appreciated….