Small things make huge disturbance

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I am unable to sleep…

and the worst part…

I don’t understand why….

I have to get up early today…

there is this sports day going in my office….

I am a player in basketball and tug of war team….

I think I am excited about it….

I will do whatever it takes today to win….

but I don’t have any disturbing thoughts…..

I just feel the need of someone to be near me….

I spend most of my time in my room….

its on the 3rd floor….

usually no one comes up…

I like that… as there is no disturbance of any sort….

but yes, sometimes I miss company….

I feel the need to talk to someone… who could understand me….

there is a lot to accomplish yet….

certifications are done…

need to brush up my knowledge and face interviews….

the shock I got from ebay….

I am recovering… but I would not leave them be….

I will register a complaint in consumer forum….

lets see how it goes….

maybe I will get a compensation…

else it would be an enlightening experience…..

though I feel guilty for not attending classes for past two months….

firstly I wanted to avoid  her as much as possible….

and secondly… I did not wanted to travel a lot by public transport…..

so, here I am….

unable to sleep….

feeling a bit guilty….

and robbed by an eCommerce site….

but… this all made me see some aspects of my life that I did not noticed earlier….

like the music… I generally listen to….

or the kind of music available on radio….

its mostly hard and harsh beats…..

the kind of music that accelerates blood flow….

I realized that I listen to music to relax…

and this music is doing the opposite….

hence I become irritable and tired….

hence not eating well… because I am irritable…

and just want to eat food to get it over with….

so, I changed the collection…

It helped….

I feel relaxed….

hence think clearer….

and understanding better….

why do small things make such huge disturbances….

but I love the change it made me go through….

feeling better…. relaxed… not thrilled…

I think every kind of music serves a purpose….

well this is a learning for me…

with my own experiences…

But, I would like to know about yours too….

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Going Insane

Hi everyone,

 

Its been some time that I have not posted anything here……..presently…..I mean today I woke up at 3:00 Am in the morning…….I was unable to sleep well……reasons are many…….some of them I have mentioned earlier in my previous post……..the reasons that have been more pressing this week were…..Diya…..she was introduced to me through a mutual friend…..I would say a really good friend of mine………she is presently pursuing her masters in Delhi University……well lets cut the chase……we were talking allot…..basically texting…..she went home in december last year…….and we were like texting each other all the time………we came closer………and when she came back from home we went on a date as well…………watched a bollywood movie………..now everything went well……we were very happy and had a good time together………..but then after that day………….she was behaving ignorant towards me………like I am pushing her to talk to me…………well I don’t like to push people to talk to me………..I am an introvert……..and lack confidence as my friends say……but this made me feel bad and I stopped texting her………she did not replied either for almost a week………and then she started texting back and said sorry too………I accepted her apologies……without showing any tantrum or attitude……..and started talking to her normally again………..but then she started to say that I don’t miss her at all and don’t care for her etc etc……and that if I want to talk to her I would have to send a text first and then she would respond………I like the girl……she is upfront and nice…….she likes me too….I think…….but now I am kind of stuck between what to do and what not to do……….wish I had a manual where I could look for all the required steps….