Small things make huge disturbance

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I am unable to sleep…

and the worst part…

I don’t understand why….

I have to get up early today…

there is this sports day going in my office….

I am a player in basketball and tug of war team….

I think I am excited about it….

I will do whatever it takes today to win….

but I don’t have any disturbing thoughts…..

I just feel the need of someone to be near me….

I spend most of my time in my room….

its on the 3rd floor….

usually no one comes up…

I like that… as there is no disturbance of any sort….

but yes, sometimes I miss company….

I feel the need to talk to someone… who could understand me….

there is a lot to accomplish yet….

certifications are done…

need to brush up my knowledge and face interviews….

the shock I got from ebay….

I am recovering… but I would not leave them be….

I will register a complaint in consumer forum….

lets see how it goes….

maybe I will get a compensation…

else it would be an enlightening experience…..

though I feel guilty for not attending classes for past two months….

firstly I wanted to avoid  her as much as possible….

and secondly… I did not wanted to travel a lot by public transport…..

so, here I am….

unable to sleep….

feeling a bit guilty….

and robbed by an eCommerce site….

but… this all made me see some aspects of my life that I did not noticed earlier….

like the music… I generally listen to….

or the kind of music available on radio….

its mostly hard and harsh beats…..

the kind of music that accelerates blood flow….

I realized that I listen to music to relax…

and this music is doing the opposite….

hence I become irritable and tired….

hence not eating well… because I am irritable…

and just want to eat food to get it over with….

so, I changed the collection…

It helped….

I feel relaxed….

hence think clearer….

and understanding better….

why do small things make such huge disturbances….

but I love the change it made me go through….

feeling better…. relaxed… not thrilled…

I think every kind of music serves a purpose….

well this is a learning for me…

with my own experiences…

But, I would like to know about yours too….

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Aside

lies and reality

Hi,

 

Today I was thinking about………the way people describe themselves boastfully………and their own actions contradict them later…….

I give you an example……..there is this girl…….. brilliant……..intelligent……..I got a chance to have a conversation with her………

she told me that she is ambitious………she is a devoted student and what not…………and that girls that go out with their boyfriends all the time……….have no purpose in life……….

and two days later I spot her in a mall………with a boy………I checked with her indirectly……….she didn’t entertained my question about how that day of hers went……….maybe she was not able to cook a story at such an short notice………..

well I am not judgmental……..but yes that was something that made me think…….

why would she lie to a person she hardly knows………..what was she afraid of…………

maybe if she was afraid she could have not said anything at all……….rather not boasted……..

maybe she was trying to impress me……….but as it turned out……..failed drastically…….and there is no believe left too……..

and I realized this was not the first time………memories rushed through my mind like a train of thoughts………

uncovering many other occasions when the truth unfolded itself………..maybe it was my negligence………that I didn’t realized the truth earlier……..

or maybe I put too much blind trust in people……….

perhaps there should be random and regular trust checks…………

anyhow…….I was thinking that as it keeps on happening……….I guess with loads of us……….what should be done………..learning from past is one…………but can it be avoided……like can it me understood then and there………..when the other person is lying………

there are people who would say they recognize when people lie……….but I guess in reality………..there would have been situations where even these people might have failed……

so coming back to the same point………how can we realize it……….is there an algorithm………..or a key in body language………..

but yes no-one likes to be lied to……..

its comes out like a crack in the wall……..and the wall gets weaker and weaker………..

till it collapses………or even if it is mended…………the signs of the repair remain…….