Aside

I am trying

Hi,

 

I managed to fail yet another interview……….but yes I am happy…… at-least I made a move…………lets see where I end up………..

anyhow………I really appreciate all the love and support I am getting from you all………….love you……….keep on motivating me………..you all are like my fuel………….

things that i have predicted in my older posts are turning out to be true now…………..and yes people in office did missed me…………..that includes my friends and others………….

the manager is so cheap that he did not provided me pick up and drop from office……….on the last working days…………the shift timings were odd……….it used to begin at 1430 hours and end at 0000………and at 0000 getting a auto or taxi is very difficult……….I was almost stuck on 08/05/2014 in the office………….

I wish someday that son of a bitch would get what he deserves………… karma will take its toll……

I wanted to forgive and forget………..but this did it…………..anyhow…………now I would have TIME……….I would be able to sketch and write…………and maybe paint………..and obviously study…………live a normal routine for some time………..meet people………..and read…

there is a load of books that is accumulating dust………..and some pdf’s that are loosing their binary code…………I will release their pain of being idle……….

I am still dealing with the same old question that is how to understand a woman………they like you……..dress up for you………like talking to you………but still they ignore you……..what does this mean……..

If you like someone……..you do what you have to do……….to spend time and be with them……….where will this ignoring part be useful……….

as I wrote in my earlier posts……….it takes time to forget…….time is the ultimate medicine……..

there is still a lot to do………..and there is so less done……..every-time I study I realize……..how less I know……….

I am getting sleepless nights now a days………I guess my energy is not utilized fully………I will include some workout too in my daily routine……..after switching to glutton free diet…….I already feel more active…….

 

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supernova

Hi,

 

Today is a good day……….good day because………..I feel lucky………..lucky because i got friends that do care……………friends who think about me…………..friends who would be there for me…………..friends who are genuinely concerned in this selfish world…………….we all come across many many people in our lifetime……………some stay for a while…………some don’t……….and some are god sent to teach us lessons of a lifetime…………….from the time I have resigned from this company…………….my friends have been there with me………….they never left me alone…………..they kept on pushing me when i was low…………and today i felt how wonderful they are……………i was not willing to go for interviews………..I was reluctant……….I thought that if I quit my job I would be able to devote more time to my classes………….but since the last month the fact has been dawning on me that………..without money that was coming in…………it would become harder for me………..money is required everywhere………….and I would have to ask for money from my mam and dad………….I dislike that………..so the thing is they kept on pushing me………..nagging me………….and finally today I went for interviews……………I somehow managed to fail in one……………and the final round of another is on Monday………..let’s see how that goes…………till then there are two days in between………..I am in a much better mental state now due to them…………but trust me if I would tell this to all of them on their face……….they would say stop this drama…………and then there would be back to back gag shot on me…………..so never mind…………they will eventually stumble upon here……………anyhow……..life is almost normal again………..health is improving………….I am about to come out of a shit hole office…………but the thing is that my manager and his pets never miss an opportunity to give me hell…………which eventually falls on them…………….they keep on threatening me with termination……………..now how would you feel when you are not left alone in a place which you desperately want to leave……………I go to that place…………….I do my work…………I keep myself occupied………….my manager has a problem with me for reading a novel………….I wonder sometimes how much more will they fall down to show their influence and authority………….this place has really taught me a lot…………it really broadened my mind to a level that would not have been possible anywhere else…………..I feel like neo of matrix…………..who has learned ju-jitsu by plugging himself into the matrix………….

 

I have been having this dream again and again nowadays…………I am in a temple………….a huge space………….wearing a saffron colored dhoti…………the old wooden sandals………known as “Khaadeu”…………..and I am playing this big “Damru”………….holding it by both my hands…………

.Image  

maybe it is because i am reading “The immortals of Meluha”………………but this book has no such place mentioned…………….and I have once played that bid damru in reality as well…………….it was at “Neelkanth”…………….I was there with my family……….I did the “Abhishek” of Lord Shiva in the auspicious temple itself…………..a person rarely gets a chance to do that……….if you don’t believe me……..try visiting……….but the thing is that this dream is replaying itself………..maybe it is like a signal……..but what does it signifies i am unable to get that as of now………I am not a very religious person………….I believe that religions are like clothes…………..we have to choose what suits us the best………….you choose one that is very tight and you are stuck…………..you choose one that is too loose………….you have to put extra efforts to make it stay……………I only think that better time is ahead………..and a better me to live that………with the friends that I have earned……….so I will make it large………..rest is in the hands of god……….

Aside

in between

Hi,

A lot has happened in the past couple of days………….time has gained pace again…………it has started to flow………..ceaselessly………..my manager the great lord of jackasses asked me to mark him an email about my experience at my workplace for the past one year………..

here is the email I sent to him…….

From: Kapil

Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 11:34 PM
To: Anshuman
Cc: Ajay
Subject: My Journey at ford.

Hi,

My journey at ford has been very interesting, enriching….
It taught me life.

It taught me about Accomplishments….

accomplishment

It taught me about Adventure…..

adventure
It taught me about being consistent……

consistency

It taught me how to be distinguished from others……

distinguished

It taught me the power of dreams….

dreams

It taught me how to look at my superiors….

self esteem
And finally the hard work and teamwork…..

team work
Regards
Kapil

then there was the reception of Abhishek kirar………….as planned we all were there again………….this time Vasutosh made it………….well his gift is still pending………..Rahul is reading my posts regularly…………he read my last post and made Abhishek tiwari read it too…………I think he did not liked what I wrote………….but it is the Solomon truth…………….moving on from all this………….I abused my shift lead on his face while he was pretending that he did not did anything…………..I was logged on to my tool………..and someone was changing its state before I could complete my work…………..I realized that as soon as Anshuman das went outside for a dinner break……….it stopped…………..then he came back…………..I went to his desk…………..I saw him monitoring…………..he was the culprit……………..I was irate………….I thought about making a scene on the floor…………………but then I stopped myself………….that asshole was messaging Vijay………..my manager…………that I am reading a novel and not working……………Vijay came over to my desk and told me that I was not doing my work…………..I did not took his words to my head and kept on doing my work……………….I thought that lets let it be……….I resolve to be happy………..but then he asked for what he deserved…………..when the shift ended………….he accompanied me and Akshay…………….I ignored him…………after 10 minute of talks between him and Akshay…………….he finally asked………….”Hey what happened between you and Vijay”……………I told him that a “CHOOTIA” (hindi for asshole) was changing the state of my tool and messaging Vijay at the same time…………….and after this his face was like a banana that is left in open for two days…………decaying and black……………and he went inside the building…………….I and Akshay had a laugh…………….

then 22nd is the day on which our project completes a year…………….there was a budget for celebration allocated to the managers…………out of which…………they ordered T-shirts and lanyards………..and the celebration was a stupid cake cutting ceremony……………….for the biggest project in this company……………what a shame…………..and later that day all the managerial staff was missing from the floor…………..they saved the money and enjoyed………….and then they blabber about leadership and team-spirit…………trust and growth…………and there are people who would go to any extent for the silliest things…………..I saw people doing it……………..and I think………….how could anyone rely on these people for the slightest of things……managers and teammates……….no trust………..as trust breeds trust…………….how can people just deny what happens in front of them and are okay with it…….maybe they will learn by their own experience……….and I felt again that this place is not for me…………..the decision was a good decision then and it is still…………..rest god will take care of everything…………….and yes I lost my cell phone in Abhishek kirar’s reception…………….

and I am addicted to this song…….tu hi hai aashiqui by Arijit singh……..listen and enjoy……..hope you all would like it……..lyrics go well with my life…….

 

Cry Babies

Hi,

right now I am sitting in my office, A shift lead Anshuman asked me to log on to a tool called CTIOS…….he pointed that I am on not ready state……….so I told him I will log on after some time…….that ass-hole took it personally and said that he wanted me to logon right now…….I simply refused……..he said okey be on not ready for the whole day……..and I was like so happy inside……I said to him that as you say……..and he is presently pissed off and cursing me inside his mind……….but hey who cares……this guy was acting on my managers instructions and got a left right and center………I am happy as I have free time today……..so as sson as Abhishek comes……..I will borrow a novel and read…….this shithead has no concern whatsoever for anyone……….if a bitch cries…..he would start running here and there…….but as it is me…..he would not care……..these are the chain emails flowing on the floor

 

From: Vijay
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:50 PM
To: Kapil
Cc: Ajay; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Alright. Will check the logs.

Also I know Anshuman for more than a year. Please adhere to his words.

Thanks and Regards,
Vijay

From: Kapil
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:47 PM
To: Vijay
Cc: Ajay; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Sir,

Please do and match the logs with the time I logged out.

Regards
Kapil

From: Vijay
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:44 PM
To: Kapil
Cc: Ajay; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Hi Kapil,

Is it only bank websites or anything else?

Do you want me to check with IT team and get the logs of all the websites browsed today?

Thanks and Regards,
Vijay

 

From: Kapil

Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:38 PM
To: Vijay
Cc: Ajay; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Sir,

I was browsing my banks website after some time when Anshuman told me to logout.

Anshuman is Exaggerating that I was browsing 3rd party sites and logged myself out to do that.

Regards
Kapil

From: Vijay
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:31 PM
To: Kapil
Cc: Ajay; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Hi Kapil,

Can you justify the below?

He logged himself out and was browsing 3rd party web sites. When I asked him to log in back, he bluntly replied that I can see in CTIOS when he will login.

Thanks and Regards,
Vijay

From: Kapil
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:28 PM
To: Vijay
Cc: Ajay; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Hi Sir,

I am not avoiding to take calls, I am sick and taking medicines, I notified this to the leads earlier as well.

I was taking calls and taking breaks in between to the best of my abilities.

As Anshuman told me that I could not take a leave in notice period, I am reporting on the floor daily, today too I have high fever.

Anshuman was adamant and shouted on me, so I refused and then he told me to log out.

And I don’t roam around and chit-chat like he is exaggerating in his email and Anshuman himself told me to go on personal aux when I cough.

Even teammates are pointing me for my coughing.

I want to leave the company with a good note and behave properly till the time I am in the company.

Thanks and Regards
Kapil

From: Vijay
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 8:42 PM
To: Kapil
Cc: Ajay ; Anshuman
Subject: RE: Kapil’s Behavior on floor
Importance: High

Hi Kapil,

This kind of behavior is not at all acceptable.

• Why are you avoiding taking calls during the peak time? If you are really suffering with bad throat, how come you able to chit chat with the colleagues on the floor? You showing the same reason from last Thursday.
• Why are you browsing 3rd party websites in spite of Ash already sent an email regarding the same?
• What kind of response are you giving to leads on the floor?

Do you think you can do anything since you are serving notice period? If Yes, then that’s a wrong perception.
Please don’t force us to Terminate you. If you are terminated, you won’t be able to show this company’s experience anywhere and you can’t even join in any “^%$^$^%”  group of companies in future.

Please refrain from doing such things and behave properly till the time you are in the company.
You never know, you might end up working again with these people in some other company. Hence, if you want leave the company leave with a good note.

Thanks and Regards,
Vijay

 

From: Anshuman
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 6:14 PM
To: Vijay
Cc: Ajay
Subject: Kapil’s Behavior on floor

Hi Vijay,

This is to discuss about Kapil’s behaviour on floor. Since the time he has filled his EMS he has become more irrsponsible on the floor.
He goes to Not Ready on personal aux when ever he feels like. On questioing him he say he is not well and he got throut pain. After observing him, during his Not Ready he countinuesly talks to agents who are ether working on tickets or calls. If calls are high, or I asked him to release his Not Ready he readily logs out from CTIOS.

Today, similar incident happened . He logged himself out and was browsing 3rd party web sites. When I asked him to log in back, he bluntly replied that I can see in CTIOS when he will login.
This is not a professional way to interact on the floor. I felt offended with his response and I have asked him to Logout from CTIOS and not to take calls.

 

Thanks and Regards,
Anshu.

 

bullshit

Hi,

I did not wrote anything for the past three four days………….man I missed my blog a lot…………….having issues with my manager………..that moron is a stupid son of a bitch……….I am doing an underpaid job for the past one year………..now its the time of an annual appraisal………..so what this son of a bitch does is…………he calls me into the meeting room…………says that it is his key responsibility area to give needs improvement ratings in appraisal to two people………..and one of them would be me…………this is what I get to after working on weekends…………after working hard…………….so I was a devastated after this behavior……….after this he said that……………..if I disagree with the rating he has provided me………..I can have a meeting with HR and my SDM………..and that trying that would not be fruitful……….as it would not yield any results……………so I went out for a walk………..took a break…………….and thought that is this tension worth taking………..or can I give it back to people who initiated it for me………….then my mind said………..dude you have been working hard for these son of bitches for past one year………..they would not find a trained resource like you easily…………….even if they find a resource that would take at least one month or more for training………….and he is bound to make mistakes in this sort of scenario………….so I gave it back to these son of bitches…………I filled the request for release………from this company and the reason was clearly mentioned as alignment with my manager………..so my attrition………….the attrition of an year old resource goes as a black spot to his profile……………the only thing that I have to loose here would be the growth opportunities that are promised to me………….the  promises that are floating in the air…………..but I hardly see them materializing……….so I turned a loose-loose situation to a win-win situation……………….my SDM today called me in for a meeting said you should at least give me chance to resolve your issues………….said he could make the appraisal go up to 20% for me…………but he did not promised me anything…………he said he would try to get this done…………I told him upfront that I don’t trust the management here as there have been fake promises in the past………….and I still don’t see anything good happening to me………..so now I am the chooser……………rather that that obnoxious son of a bitch…………and I think I would win this………