Nerds and Geeks

Hello everyone,

Hope this post finds you in good health and best of spirits.

Its been a while again that I posted something here.

Been doing things that I didn’t did before.

I now have registered my business and have been promoting it.

Please do check out our Facebook page.

Its in its infant stage as of now.

https://www.facebook.com/nerdsandgeekspage/?ref=hl

 

If you really like something, do order.

Maybe there would be glitches in the final stages of order processing by the store.

Please feel free to share the details on the Facebook page, we would process your order in the best possible way and take immediate correction measures.

Anyhow it’s been a tremendous team effort. I started alone but then my friends came along and now I see more people coming in and investing their energies.

It is overwhelming and I am doing my best to cope up with this support.

I really wish to do my best for everyone involved. but yes there are some financial concerns involved.

So, all I can offer them presently is to believe in this initiative and that it will certainly pay them off. Maybe not now, but eventually.

So, please help me promote it as much as possible.

Its been great support and love that I found here.

Wish you all the very best.

Good day!

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Bouncing back to blogging

Hello everyone,

its been a while that I have written anything, well I have been writing and doodling all along but not doing anything to get the load off myself, the entire idea for starting this blog in the first place.

I have been reading and reading like crazy, I have been planning and working towards my goals. Some were met and fulfilled like they were just waiting for me to get started, others are just taking there time.

I think soon they would succumb to my strides. I know seems like all talk and no work.

But, I have been working on my writing style too.

I think you might see some improvement over my previous posts in terms of writing style.

I think I have become better in terms of organizing the ideas and I think I am using punctuation better now.

well still a long way to go.

I had been brainstorming a lot lately, I need to set up a business soon.

But, India is a country where paperwork takes tremendous amount of time, every now and then there are a slight update and change that would keep you hanging for months in a go.

I faced a lot of this bureaucracy when I tried to get my business registered.

Just want things to start up soon.

By the way I have a new buddy in my life that i would love to introduce to all of you.

My beloved Kaizen.

IMG_20150407_070621

He is adorable, and keeps everyone in the house on their toes.

very affectionate and well behaved.

I think that comes from his parents.

I just love to make him my pillow every now and then.

well, so far so good.

I recently finished some of my financial commitments, and now I am taking on more of them.

I just want get them over soon.

I was recently diagnosed with dengue and was hospitalized for days, so was my mother please don’t catch that.

be safe and take precautions.

And I really appreciate the care and comfort of my family and friends.

And, I plan to write more often, feels great to be here, Hope you all have been doing great too.

Small things make huge disturbance

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I am unable to sleep…

and the worst part…

I don’t understand why….

I have to get up early today…

there is this sports day going in my office….

I am a player in basketball and tug of war team….

I think I am excited about it….

I will do whatever it takes today to win….

but I don’t have any disturbing thoughts…..

I just feel the need of someone to be near me….

I spend most of my time in my room….

its on the 3rd floor….

usually no one comes up…

I like that… as there is no disturbance of any sort….

but yes, sometimes I miss company….

I feel the need to talk to someone… who could understand me….

there is a lot to accomplish yet….

certifications are done…

need to brush up my knowledge and face interviews….

the shock I got from ebay….

I am recovering… but I would not leave them be….

I will register a complaint in consumer forum….

lets see how it goes….

maybe I will get a compensation…

else it would be an enlightening experience…..

though I feel guilty for not attending classes for past two months….

firstly I wanted to avoid  her as much as possible….

and secondly… I did not wanted to travel a lot by public transport…..

so, here I am….

unable to sleep….

feeling a bit guilty….

and robbed by an eCommerce site….

but… this all made me see some aspects of my life that I did not noticed earlier….

like the music… I generally listen to….

or the kind of music available on radio….

its mostly hard and harsh beats…..

the kind of music that accelerates blood flow….

I realized that I listen to music to relax…

and this music is doing the opposite….

hence I become irritable and tired….

hence not eating well… because I am irritable…

and just want to eat food to get it over with….

so, I changed the collection…

It helped….

I feel relaxed….

hence think clearer….

and understanding better….

why do small things make such huge disturbances….

but I love the change it made me go through….

feeling better…. relaxed… not thrilled…

I think every kind of music serves a purpose….

well this is a learning for me…

with my own experiences…

But, I would like to know about yours too….

The Wish

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I really miss this place…. I can open up here….

and I really feel a connection….

normally.. we don’t share everything…

we keep things…. things that we think we will be judged upon…

I do that too…

today I am thinking about what to do when you know that you can’t trust a person…

should you be blunt and tell that person…

or just keep it within you… and be nice…

well as far as my experience goes…

the latter is more difficult…

because you will have to pretend…

well lets leave this discussion for comments… let me know what you think…

lets formulate a accepted and working thesis….

Meanwhile I have been busy….

I have started a small business….

I am struggling as of now…

even suffered some loss…

but I am not here to abandon it…

I am hurt… but I think it will give me more pleasure…

pleasure of success…

I believe I would generate profit…

that would recover all the loss…

and go much higher and beyond it…

I have not been studying though….

not devoting time to studies… makes me feel a little bad…

as they all add on…

the transactions not going good… and not devoting time to studies…

but, I have been trying… and results may be minuscule right now…

but eventually I believe they will grow…

love life… you all know how it has been…..

things have changed a bit…

now she wishes me everyday…

though I don’t reply…

we have not met in a long time…

that’s about it…

she sometimes calls… but now I avoid her….

it is funny how things end up…

I have been diverting my mind…

I started sketching again…

I danced after a long time…

I am a part of the office cricket team…

and we won some matches too….

though my individual contribution was not much.. 🙂

I have my room ready finally…

So, I guess I am better of from where I left…

I have grown definitely…

but I am still not satisfied with myself…

I can still do better…

I can sketch better…

I can run my business better….

I can study better…

I can do a better job.. and earn better…

I can be a better person…

a better friend… a better human…

results would come… not instantaneously… but definitely…

I just love that scene from my favorite movie… Om Shanti Om…

When Om delivers his speech in award ceremony…

I just wish… someday…

Take care dear friends!

 

enjoying the way

Hi,

 

Thank you for your love and support…

I have been getting over Neha since my last post…

and I am doing good now…

She is not on my mind all the time…

like she used to be always… 

I can concentrate on things at hand.. and work…

Yes we are still talking… 

but there is a slight distance.. that i have maintained…

I don’t want to smother her with affection… 

I don’t think about future… anymore…

I am living in present again… and I am over the feeling of loosing her as well…

and now it feels awesome… 

I realized she is not a thing… that I could say is mine…

she is a living being… has her own ways…

has her own beliefs… 

I liked her the way she was… If i try to posses her…

she has to mend her ways as per my wishes… unwillingly…

and forced changes do not bring any good with them…

as they are not accepted… 

so is the case with me as well…

Thanks to a recent gem added to my friends list Piyush…

he made me understand this…

we recently had our new hire party in office…

and it was a success…

everyone loved it…

there was something for everyone…

and everyone seemed full…

they enjoyed it… and finally welcomed me and Piyush to the team…

I loved it too..

So life is back on track again…. and if death is the next thing coming…

i would be able to face it in the eye… till it looks down with regrets….

but I still need to put some more efforts into the course material…

I have been legging behind for some time now…

I am passionate about these classes….

and I have been doing good…

but these bumps in the road had some impact on it…

now the ride is going a bit smooth… till the next bump…

and I should not wait for it…

I should make preparations now…

and I have no regrets fro life… 😀

I did what I could do… 

to the best of my abilities…

and I would keep on doing that….

till I live…

Yes I am drunk while I am writing this post…

It had been quite some time.. I did not spent time with myself…

and today i am all to myself… listening to pink floyd… and writing my feelings…

I realized that when I write down I get a better perception of my life..

one from my perspective… and from your perspectives as well…

makes me think before making decisions…

makes me formulate a plan of action that is better…

workable and effective…

rest is fate…

I am not afraid to fail… because every time I fail… I fail better…

I feel better… because.. I did what I could do… rather than not doing anything at all…

makes me happy inside… even if did not achieve anything…

the satisfaction of “at least I tried” weighs more than the achievement…

it makes us humble as well…

though I have no special achievements…

but I am hopeful….

lets see what universe has planned for me…

I am just enjoying the journey…

 

 

Moving on

Hi,

 

I have not been writing much these days…. I realized this…

I was so much occupied with Neha that I have not given time to myself….. and the things I love to do…

But, now that I have realized that….

I guess I need to give myself some time…

She drained me emotionally…. always doing something or the other….

she was taking me for-granted…

I told her that upfront… that she should stop doing this…..

yesterday we had a conversation… she was talking to me like I am someone begging to be with her…

She was sick… she has some sort of allergy… and due to which she has some swelling…

I was asking her about her well being… and I did my best to be nice to her…

but she did it… and I realized I have had enough…

She does not even care to resolve this… and it is not my responsibility always to resolve differences…

I know this sounds like I don’t care about her and I am being a jerk….

but, try my shoes for one day…. and get to know… what I go through…

You would understand… anyhow… we are not talking as of now…. and I already feel good about it….

the time she used to take away from me… I think I would devote that to better things….

I have been working out… but it was on and off…

with less things to think about… I would devote my time to myself….

writing is going on with its own sweet pace… and I am improving… and the kind of love and support I get from you all….

motivates me a lot… and I would keep on doing it… and improve…

I wish someday I would be able to publish something as well…

till then sharing is perfect… and learning… I see great posts from people… Cari.. has a great blog…

I learn a lot from her…

I wanted the things between me and Neha to work out…

and I did what I could…

but I think its for the better… at first it was euphoric…

it gave me strength… I felt so much love and energy….

but then things did not went well….

and now we talk less and fight more…

I give you an example… I did not had dinner yesterday…

there was a lot of work… but I still managed to ask her about her well being….

but she was behaving as if I am clinging on to her…

I told her what I felt… and she said what can i do about it… its not her concern….

now.. even if I neglect it… she has been talking like this with me from past one week or so…..

Love is in its place… but how could I compromise with self respect…..

even if she does not feel anything about me… the least anyone could do is show compassion…

at least talk nicely…

I wanted things to fade nicely… but now it was not that good…

Call it universe or God… it has its own plan and ways…

I will go with the flow… and concentrate on what is Important for my happiness…

I realized I cannot make other people happy… till I am happy myself…

I have not sketched in a while… I want to start painting now… lets make a step towards painting today 🙂kapil potrait cross process

have a great time ahead!

 

 

 

Aside

Equanimity

Hi,

Hope you all have a great weekend..

Its been three days and we are hardly talking….

she said many things but now I feel she never meant any of them…

I think she needs her own space…

now she has it… I am no more in the equation…

hope that helps her….

I have awesome friends….

they have been there for me…..

they have supported me….

made me laugh….

and they helped to bring out the best in me….

and I feel really grateful to them….

she came into my life… she gave me some memories….

but things did not went well…

but with my friends I never have to think about things going right or wrong….

no matter how I am… they accept me…

and I think that is what is the key for a successful bond….

she is unable to accept me as I am… keeps on passing the blame onto me…

that simply means.. she does not deserved me in the first place….

and it was so foolish of me to keep it dragging…

I gave her more importance then myself….

and I think that is where it all went wrong….

and the best part is I did it… without realizing what I was doing….

and now that I have realized it… I think the damage has been done…

I read some articles on behavior… and she turned out to be a “toxic person”….

the way she behaves with me now a days….

she twists my words to pass the blame onto me….

she hardly makes any effort to know about my well being…

and she has been taking me for granted…

makes me pursue her all the time… and enjoys it…

I have no problem doing that… but she does not shows any respect at all…

no compassion… no consideration….

she used to make me laugh… but she had not done it in a long while…

and I don’t want to criticize her for it…

I want to be with her in the hoping that she would do it some day…

but the reality is she would not be with me…

following her parents wishes…

she would get married to someone… and I would be left alone…

I don’t know what to do anymore…

It’s like being in the middle of a dark tunnel… and not knowing which way to go…

like there is no light on both the ends….

and I am left all alone….

but eventually I will get to the end…

and be in the light again… and I feel like she would be there…

along with my friends… and everything would be as it is meant to be….