Small things make huge disturbance

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I am unable to sleep…

and the worst part…

I don’t understand why….

I have to get up early today…

there is this sports day going in my office….

I am a player in basketball and tug of war team….

I think I am excited about it….

I will do whatever it takes today to win….

but I don’t have any disturbing thoughts…..

I just feel the need of someone to be near me….

I spend most of my time in my room….

its on the 3rd floor….

usually no one comes up…

I like that… as there is no disturbance of any sort….

but yes, sometimes I miss company….

I feel the need to talk to someone… who could understand me….

there is a lot to accomplish yet….

certifications are done…

need to brush up my knowledge and face interviews….

the shock I got from ebay….

I am recovering… but I would not leave them be….

I will register a complaint in consumer forum….

lets see how it goes….

maybe I will get a compensation…

else it would be an enlightening experience…..

though I feel guilty for not attending classes for past two months….

firstly I wanted to avoid  her as much as possible….

and secondly… I did not wanted to travel a lot by public transport…..

so, here I am….

unable to sleep….

feeling a bit guilty….

and robbed by an eCommerce site….

but… this all made me see some aspects of my life that I did not noticed earlier….

like the music… I generally listen to….

or the kind of music available on radio….

its mostly hard and harsh beats…..

the kind of music that accelerates blood flow….

I realized that I listen to music to relax…

and this music is doing the opposite….

hence I become irritable and tired….

hence not eating well… because I am irritable…

and just want to eat food to get it over with….

so, I changed the collection…

It helped….

I feel relaxed….

hence think clearer….

and understanding better….

why do small things make such huge disturbances….

but I love the change it made me go through….

feeling better…. relaxed… not thrilled…

I think every kind of music serves a purpose….

well this is a learning for me…

with my own experiences…

But, I would like to know about yours too….

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I want to go somewhere

Hi everyone,

Today too i woke up at 3:21AM………..I am trying to move on and get to life……..as it is getting to me…………I see that my friends are enjoying……..don’t know whether…….they are pretending or are really happy and enjoying the life………..I want to enjoy and live my life to the fullest………and I have realized with time that it does not takes great money to enjoy………it takes good friends and some time and money to make the time be the best moments………and I know by now you must have been bored by the same old sad story I have been reciting……..but yup you would understand better……..if you would have been in my shoes…….i know it sounds kind of a looser’s views about himself…….but I don’t need sympathy and views……..I need your valuable responses……..so that I could get over these situations……..as god works in mysterious ways………maybe your words could guide me………motivate me………presently I feel alone and lonely……….and there is a emotional void that I could feel just next to my heart………..friends are busy and don’t respond to me when I need them the most…….I wish they could just understand the way i feel……………yet I know that they never can……….and yes, I have this expectation from my friends that they would text and call me without  any reason…………but this is seldom fulfilled…….sometimes i feel like I have not learnt the way of life till now………and I still need to work on the basics………