Possibilities and Perception

Hi,

Hope you all are doing great and achieving greatness..

I slightly deviated from the track recently…

I have missed classes too…

Reason being her… as I did not wanted to confront her….

I did not attended classes for a week….

I just could not make it… I felt drained of energy…

Then I went went back to review…

My body is feeling this because I am not eating well… sleeping well…

Yup… She effects me emotionally…

But… If I keep on eating good…

Hang out with good people…

Be happy…

My emotional aspects are taken care off…

But the diet and sleep part is something.. I have to maintain for myself….

Its all interrelated…. isn’t it…

Like two sides of a coin…

And the irony is eventually it will flip…. no matter what…

Because no matter what I do…. something or the other will start a chain of thoughts….

So either I can let it affect me… or I can just consider it to be a negligible part in my equation….

and rather focus on the main equation….

throw the coin away

And throw it away…

She did things for me… and then she stopped doing them….

She made me habitual of certain things…. then she made me change my habits…

I was actually not reviewing… what I needed…. and what she has to offer…

I am implementing certain changes…. lets see how they go….

And when I talk to different people… I realize their perception about them differ…

It depends on my behavior….

How I act in front of them…

If I am feeling euphoric some day…. and met someone…

they are going to remember me like that…

If I am feeling sad… they will remember to be a brooding person….

or maybe confused…

Yeah… past week made people think that….

I realized that they thought me to be confused… lost….

and yes I was… but this will eventually affect me…

the more active, spontaneous, alive, the better I get…

And the more I am lost in thinking about the things that I cannot deal with….

The worse I get…. passive….

and I think no one likes to be like that….

I think I would have to think about this…

A way to get over this too…

A way to channel all thoughts and energy at the things at hand….

but the question is HOW?

We cannot restrict our thoughts…

so that is not an option…

But I think with practice…. we can channel our thoughts too…

I think if I am able to understand the reason… I would be able to channel my thoughts….

and that is where I get stuck…

firstly… to understand how I feel… the exact feeling…. and that takes up a lot of efforts…

getting over this part is the most cumbersome task….

then why I am feeling like that….

and then some workaround… that may fail too….

taking me back to Initial stage again….

Well… why I see circles in everything now a days….

maybe my perception is not accurate….

It is a possibility too…

 

 

 

 

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Going Insane

Hi everyone,

 

Its been some time that I have not posted anything here……..presently…..I mean today I woke up at 3:00 Am in the morning…….I was unable to sleep well……reasons are many…….some of them I have mentioned earlier in my previous post……..the reasons that have been more pressing this week were…..Diya…..she was introduced to me through a mutual friend…..I would say a really good friend of mine………she is presently pursuing her masters in Delhi University……well lets cut the chase……we were talking allot…..basically texting…..she went home in december last year…….and we were like texting each other all the time………we came closer………and when she came back from home we went on a date as well…………watched a bollywood movie………..now everything went well……we were very happy and had a good time together………..but then after that day………….she was behaving ignorant towards me………like I am pushing her to talk to me…………well I don’t like to push people to talk to me………..I am an introvert……..and lack confidence as my friends say……but this made me feel bad and I stopped texting her………she did not replied either for almost a week………and then she started texting back and said sorry too………I accepted her apologies……without showing any tantrum or attitude……..and started talking to her normally again………..but then she started to say that I don’t miss her at all and don’t care for her etc etc……and that if I want to talk to her I would have to send a text first and then she would respond………I like the girl……she is upfront and nice…….she likes me too….I think…….but now I am kind of stuck between what to do and what not to do……….wish I had a manual where I could look for all the required steps….