Me again

Hi,

I think you are doing great…

I have been over Neha recently…

now I am doing better…

and I realized that when someone has nothing to lose…

the pleasure in attempting things…

the independence is intoxicating…

it gives a euphoria…

a feeling I wish you all to experience someday…

I feel great in terms of mental peace…

I am able to focus again on things at hand…

I after a long time found myself reading again…

I was able to concentrate…

I don’t blame her for over-thinking….

It was me… I was too much involved mentally with her…

I have told her everything…  and that too… over and over again…

but she still refuses…

So its time to pack bags… and look out…

I have been busy lately… classes… office….

and her… it all kept me excessively busy…

I was hardly getting time to spend with myself….

And as a result… I was accepting everything…

without questioning… because I was not taking time to think…

now I will… I will think a little and then answer her…

maybe that would happen never….

if she wants to talk… she would approach…

I would not make the slightest move now….

I have a plan… and I have to work on that…

I have realized that whenever I get too involved…

I don’t think about other things… and I stop taking time out for myself…

I gave her books back…

Guess what…

Enough about her already….

I met my friends last weekend….

It was awesome….

They came to pick me up at 5 AM in the morning…

and we went on for a ride….

we shared… we smiled…. we enjoyed….

And the best part was…. I needed it… and it was a surprise…

I spent a whole day without talking to her….

I realized that she has been treating me badly….

When I compare the way a person treats or talks to me to the way she talks or treats me….

I realize I should not have entertained her so much….

It felt nice to be me again…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aside

I am trying

Hi,

 

I managed to fail yet another interview……….but yes I am happy…… at-least I made a move…………lets see where I end up………..

anyhow………I really appreciate all the love and support I am getting from you all………….love you……….keep on motivating me………..you all are like my fuel………….

things that i have predicted in my older posts are turning out to be true now…………..and yes people in office did missed me…………..that includes my friends and others………….

the manager is so cheap that he did not provided me pick up and drop from office……….on the last working days…………the shift timings were odd……….it used to begin at 1430 hours and end at 0000………and at 0000 getting a auto or taxi is very difficult……….I was almost stuck on 08/05/2014 in the office………….

I wish someday that son of a bitch would get what he deserves………… karma will take its toll……

I wanted to forgive and forget………..but this did it…………..anyhow…………now I would have TIME……….I would be able to sketch and write…………and maybe paint………..and obviously study…………live a normal routine for some time………..meet people………..and read…

there is a load of books that is accumulating dust………..and some pdf’s that are loosing their binary code…………I will release their pain of being idle……….

I am still dealing with the same old question that is how to understand a woman………they like you……..dress up for you………like talking to you………but still they ignore you……..what does this mean……..

If you like someone……..you do what you have to do……….to spend time and be with them……….where will this ignoring part be useful……….

as I wrote in my earlier posts……….it takes time to forget…….time is the ultimate medicine……..

there is still a lot to do………..and there is so less done……..every-time I study I realize……..how less I know……….

I am getting sleepless nights now a days………I guess my energy is not utilized fully………I will include some workout too in my daily routine……..after switching to glutton free diet…….I already feel more active…….