Small things make huge disturbance

Hi,

Hope you all are doing fine…

I am unable to sleep…

and the worst part…

I don’t understand why….

I have to get up early today…

there is this sports day going in my office….

I am a player in basketball and tug of war team….

I think I am excited about it….

I will do whatever it takes today to win….

but I don’t have any disturbing thoughts…..

I just feel the need of someone to be near me….

I spend most of my time in my room….

its on the 3rd floor….

usually no one comes up…

I like that… as there is no disturbance of any sort….

but yes, sometimes I miss company….

I feel the need to talk to someone… who could understand me….

there is a lot to accomplish yet….

certifications are done…

need to brush up my knowledge and face interviews….

the shock I got from ebay….

I am recovering… but I would not leave them be….

I will register a complaint in consumer forum….

lets see how it goes….

maybe I will get a compensation…

else it would be an enlightening experience…..

though I feel guilty for not attending classes for past two months….

firstly I wanted to avoid  her as much as possible….

and secondly… I did not wanted to travel a lot by public transport…..

so, here I am….

unable to sleep….

feeling a bit guilty….

and robbed by an eCommerce site….

but… this all made me see some aspects of my life that I did not noticed earlier….

like the music… I generally listen to….

or the kind of music available on radio….

its mostly hard and harsh beats…..

the kind of music that accelerates blood flow….

I realized that I listen to music to relax…

and this music is doing the opposite….

hence I become irritable and tired….

hence not eating well… because I am irritable…

and just want to eat food to get it over with….

so, I changed the collection…

It helped….

I feel relaxed….

hence think clearer….

and understanding better….

why do small things make such huge disturbances….

but I love the change it made me go through….

feeling better…. relaxed… not thrilled…

I think every kind of music serves a purpose….

well this is a learning for me…

with my own experiences…

But, I would like to know about yours too….

Before and After

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This  is how I used to look when I joined my organisation…….cool composed……..though introvert…….I used to stay happy…….liked to be around people…..yet too much involvement was not my way………everyone used to like me…….I used to live life on my own terms……..had my own rules to follow……..and I used to stick to them………but then I was devastated…….

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And the outcome was a person who is agreeable………goes with the flow………thinks that the rules he made for himself are not doing him any good…….so why not do what others suggest………for a change……….at least with trail and error he would get to know people better……….with pain and suffering he would be able to differentiate between friends and pretentious people who pretend to be a friend but actually are leeches…………with use and throw mind set………..and with time I learned and grew…….

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and this is how I look now……….and now I believe that only god can judge me………no one else can………because they ain’t any better then me……..and even if they are…….I don’t care for their judgments…….though I would appreciate their views………views that are genuine and are helpful for me to grow as a person………yes, it still leaves a loophole for me to be manipulated…….but hey the thing is………with every mistake I would grow stronger……and better…………which reminds me of a great song from the maestro…….Nusrat fateh Ali Khan……..Tumhe Dillagi Bhul jaani Padegi…….

here is the video……do watch and try to get the meaning of the song…….you will get goosebumps…….Truth at its best….

 

 

lyrics……to make it easier……

 

Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Deikho

Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Deikho

Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Deikho

Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Deikho

Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Deikho

Tarapnay Pay Mairay Na Phir Tum Haso Gay
Kabhi Dil Kisi Say Laga Ker To Daikho

Hoonton K Paas Aaye Hasi Kia Majaal Hai
Dil Ka Moamla Hai Koi Dillagi Nahi
Zakhm Pay Zakhm Pay Kha K Ji Apnay Laho K Ghoont Pe
Aah Na Ker Laboon Ko See Ishq Hai Dillagi Nahi
Dil Laga Ker Pata Chalay Ga Tumhein
Aashqi Dillagi Nahi Hoti
Kuch Khail Nahi Hai Ishq Ki Laag
Pani Na Samajh Yeah Aag Hai Aag
Khoon Rula’ay Gi Yeah Lagi Dil Ki
Khail Samjho Na Dillagi Dil Ki
Yeah Ishq Nahi Aasan Bus Itna Samajh Li Jay
Ik Aag Ka Darya Hai Aur Doob K Jana Hai
Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Daikho
Tarapnay P Mairay Na Phir Tum Haso Gay
Kabhi Dil Kisi Say Laga Ker To Daikho
Wafaoon Ki Hum Say Tawwaqu Nahi Hai
Magar Aik Baar Aazma Ker To Daikho
Zamanay Ko Apna Bana Ker To Daikha
Hamein Bhi Tum Apna Bana Ker To Daikho
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Rukh Say Naqaab Utha Ke
Bari Dair Ho Gaye Maahol Ko Tilawat-E-Quran Kiyeah Hoay
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Hum Na Samjahy Teri Nazroon Ka Taqaza Kia Hai
Kabhi Pardah Kabhi Jalwa Yeah Tamasha Kia Hai
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Jane E Jaan Hum Say Yeah Uljhan Nahi Dekhi Jati
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Khuda K Liyeah Chor Do Ub Yeah Pardah
Ke Hein Aaj Hum Tum Nahi Ghair Koyi
Shab-E-Wasl Bhi Hai Hijaab Is Qadar Kiyoon
Zara Rukh Say Aanchal Utha Ker To Daikho
Jafa’ein Bohot Kiii Bohot Zulm Dha’ay
Kabhi Ik Nigah-E-Karam Is Taraf Bhi
Hamesha Ho’ay Daikh Ker Mujh Ko Barham
Kisi Din Zara Muskura Ker To Daikho
Jo Ulfat Mein Har Ik Sitam Hai Gawara
Yeah Sub Kuch Hai Paas E Wafa Tum Say Warna
Sata’tay Ho Din Raat Jiss Tarah Mujh Ko
Kisi Ghair Ko Yoon Sata Ker To Daikho
Agar Chay Kisi Baat Per Woh Khafa Hein
To Acha Yeah He Hai Tum Apni Si Ker Lo
Woh Manay Na Manay Yeah Marzi Hai Un Ki
Magar Un Ko Purnam Mana Ker To Daikho
Tumhein Dillagi Bhool Jani Paray Gi
Mohabbat Ki Raahon Mein Aa Kar To Daikho…….