Hangover

Hi,

 

Hope you all are doing great in your life..

There have been loads of changes happening around in my life…

and i guess I am not doing great….

but I am not doing bad either…

I got a legal notice from my previous organisation for sharing….

well I think It must have did them some damage…

So, I have removed those posts…

Rahul bro. see I listen to you….

Hope that satisfies them…

But it made me feel I am being heard…

Neha is behaving in a bizarre way…

She just keeps on asking “hw r u? ?”

I told her many times I am fine and getting better…

But, she just don’t want to understand…

So, I asked her why is it… That she is showing concern for me….

she said “just like that”…

now that’s not a reason…

and I have been noticing her…. stalking me on facebook….

I go to office in the night now a days…

it is a 24 x 7 environment…

and she comes online exactly at the beginning of my shift…

she knows I would log in to facebook to check my updates…

and I see her online all the time…. but hardly a like or any post….

So, what I did was… switching chat offline for her…

so that she does not get to know that I am online….

it went on for two or three days…

and viola… there was her message…

I did not replied instantaneously… I took my own sweet time to reply…

thanks to the advice of Abhishek kirar…

and she went crazy… she called me…

she has been updating her status on whats app for me…

which I feel is very kiddish… but it makes me smile… at the same time…

I don’t understand her behavior… and what is she up to…

at one hand she says she wants to have an arrange marriage…

and she met the guy too…

and on the other she is doing all this…

I think this will only hurt me later…

she would marry and move on…

and I would be left with all these emotions inside me… that I have been suppressing….

she hardly makes a move to meet me…. nor did she ever said that she loves me ever….

it has been 3 weeks now… we have not met anywhere else…

but only in classes…

I got my timings changed too…. so that we don’t bump into each other…

but I was not able to cope up…

I feel drained….

she used to wish me good morning and evening and good night….

but not anymore….

its been 12 to 13 days of those messages not being there…

those messages used to make me feel energetic…

that someone is thinking about me all the time….

and I used to get this euphoria by just thinking about it….

well… that’s not it… she does not tells me anything… nothing about herself…

but just keep asking questions from me…

so, I hardly feel like replying…

but I feel bad to see unanswered messages…

so, I still reply to her…

I just want a clear reply…

and every time time I have asked her… she has refused…

but kept on doing all this too….

I think I should just ignore her more….

without telling her….

any advice in this regard would be highly appreciated….

Aside

Equanimity

Hi,

Hope you all have a great weekend..

Its been three days and we are hardly talking….

she said many things but now I feel she never meant any of them…

I think she needs her own space…

now she has it… I am no more in the equation…

hope that helps her….

I have awesome friends….

they have been there for me…..

they have supported me….

made me laugh….

and they helped to bring out the best in me….

and I feel really grateful to them….

she came into my life… she gave me some memories….

but things did not went well…

but with my friends I never have to think about things going right or wrong….

no matter how I am… they accept me…

and I think that is what is the key for a successful bond….

she is unable to accept me as I am… keeps on passing the blame onto me…

that simply means.. she does not deserved me in the first place….

and it was so foolish of me to keep it dragging…

I gave her more importance then myself….

and I think that is where it all went wrong….

and the best part is I did it… without realizing what I was doing….

and now that I have realized it… I think the damage has been done…

I read some articles on behavior… and she turned out to be a “toxic person”….

the way she behaves with me now a days….

she twists my words to pass the blame onto me….

she hardly makes any effort to know about my well being…

and she has been taking me for granted…

makes me pursue her all the time… and enjoys it…

I have no problem doing that… but she does not shows any respect at all…

no compassion… no consideration….

she used to make me laugh… but she had not done it in a long while…

and I don’t want to criticize her for it…

I want to be with her in the hoping that she would do it some day…

but the reality is she would not be with me…

following her parents wishes…

she would get married to someone… and I would be left alone…

I don’t know what to do anymore…

It’s like being in the middle of a dark tunnel… and not knowing which way to go…

like there is no light on both the ends….

and I am left all alone….

but eventually I will get to the end…

and be in the light again… and I feel like she would be there…

along with my friends… and everything would be as it is meant to be….

 

 

advance ahead

Hi, Today is Sunday………….so as usual………..I slept a lot…………..then I woke up late in the afternoon………….feeling relaxed……..as the computer must have felt after a refresh is hit………….then I got messages that reminded me to study as there would be a test on Tuesday…………so I have to prepare and study…………but as we study or open books…………..i don’t understand why sleep strikes back………….and if you don’t sleep…………the mind goes off to wander about in thoughts……………no matter how much you try to keep it within reigns…………so today I went back in the flashback………….the day when we went to the engagement of Abhishek kirar IMG-20140121-WA0019 IMG-20140121-WA0020 IMG-20140121-WA0022 IMG-20140121-WA0025…………I was  broke…………you may find the reason in my older posts………….so what we did was………..we went to his engagement…………attended the ceremony……………and then took a metro back…………..while we were in the metro………..all of a sudden there was a development…………..a new plan………….the plan was to go to “Connaught Place”……….as there is this bar that serves drinks till late in the night………..it was around 2300 already when we were in the metro………..I agreed to the plan because I needed to divert my mind as it was going berserk……………so we were all dressed up…………me Akshay and Vasutosh…………we went out of the metro station towards that bar to find out that it was about to close…………..the final orders were being taken inside………..I was not in a mood to talk much so I kept on listening and following them…………we went inquiring from person to person…………then finally we went to another bar…………..Rahul and Nitin was with us in the metro too…………they left us as Nitin was not in the mood to drink and Rahul does not drinks………..so we went into this bar………..I wanted to have the house wine that they served……….but as it was late…………it was not available……..so we setteled for the pitcher of beer………..Vasutosh ordered a mojito I guess I don’t exactly remember his drink……….I was string out of the window………watching people pass by……….then we paid the price 3 times the normal……….ImageImage so now we were little drunk ………..all dressed up……..and roaming on the streets without any plan or clue…………we sat for some time in the central park………..I played this song on my mobile phone

………..it was peaceful…………no traffic noise……….the sound seemed to be so perfect………..and we were lost into it………..voice of a great singer……….Hans Raj Hans……… Shruti Pathak is awesome too…………..makes you dwell……….almost binds you instantaneously…………..and lyrics went well with me………….old traditional lyrics…………translation would be difficult for me as I partially understand the lyrics………..but I can give it a try if you want to understand……….just add a comment……… Ve aa ve Mahi
Teku saad pai ve maaran
Ve tu mulakh vasa leya keda
Panchi vi uud gharan nu aa Gaye sajna
Keo chit nai karda Tera
Haal ve Rabba
Lutti heer ve fakir di
Haal ve rabba
Mari teriyan gama di
Aar vi bela par vi bela
Vich bele de jaavan
Aa miyan ranjha Jogi ban ke
Jind di Khol gamava
Luti heer ve fakir di
Haal ve rabba
Aar vi bela par vi bela
Bela kinne banaya
Aa miyan ranjha Bach ke chaliye
Chacha kedon aaya
Luti heer ve fakir di
Haal ve rabba
Birha birha aakhiye
Burha tun sultan
Farida jit tan birhon na upjai
Jo tan jaan Masaan
Ek din bulbul chaman de andar,
Koyal nu puchan lagi
Ve raat din tu reh kurlandi
Kiss Surat di thaggi
Kisde sog kitta rang kala
Ja hai kisdi vaggi
Hashmat shah aage ro ke misra
Aiyo hi aakhan lagi
Luti heer ve fakir di
Haal ve rabba   the story does not ends here………….after that Vasutosh wanted to have soup…………New Delhi railway station is nearbyIMG-20140121-WA0026 IMG-20140121-WA0027 IMG-20140121-WA0028 IMG-20140121-WA0029 ………..so we went there roaming around………..but unfortunately………..we got no place where we could have soup…………so there was a change of plan………….we went Pahar ganj………..its near the railway station……….we walked almost 7-8 kilometers in the whole night………..we had a word with the cab drivers………so that we could arrange a cab………..that could drop us back home………..they were asking too much…………by this time it was almost 0300…………so i suggested that lets wait for some more time…………and catch the first metro back home………..we did exactly the same…………Akshay left us at “Rajiv Chowk”…………me and Vasutosh got a bus from “Botanical Garden”…………and finally we were back home………..I was feeling better………….I realized that when things are not going your way……….just keep on flowing with the flow………..no matter much you are feeling low……….you would at least be mobile……………..which is required to advance……..advance ahead……….as an intelligent man once said………..if you are going through HELL……….keep going………   by the way I have uploaded some of my sketches on a new page……….http://immabelike.com/sketches/ hope you like them………Angeline M motivated me to do this http://angelinem.wordpress.com/ this is her blog url 🙂 Thanks Angeline M.

Aside

Vows and us

Hi,

how have you all been…….it has been 5 days since I wrote anything………….life was in full throttle……….I finally woke up early……….used alarms to wake me up…………attended classes…………went to Abhishek kirar’s marriage…………we hijacked the marriage………….it was a great fun…………we danced like crazy …………we went full retard……………Image actually this time we reached the point where the “BARAAT” was about to assemble early………..and there was another “BARAAT” already prepared to roll……………on 16th it all started early for me…………….went to a salon to get my hairs done………….then after a mild breakfast………….went out to attend my classes………….took my suit along………..spent a big part of my day in the institute………….then at 1800 hrs left the institute to meet the gang………….somehow they told me that Vasutosh was not taking any calls…………..I called him too………but yes he was not taking calls…………I did this while I was standing on the road near Abhishek tiwari’s room………….I didn’t knew where he lived…………..and as usual…………everyone was late…………….so I was a feeling like a display mannequin…………because people walking by were staring and thinking………..why would a person stand on an intersection with a garment bag and a backpack………..they were 40 minutes late…………….well Vasutosh was still not responding…………..so around 1845 we started to get ready and dress up……………so finally after everything was done………..we left for the venue………….the travel was a story in itself…………we were lost 2-3 times………..but we managed to be there before time…………….I was very hungry……….like cannibal hungry……….so was Akshay……………Rahul has fat deposit to survive for 3-4 months so I don’t about how he felt…………Abhishek tiwari is superior to Rahul in fat deposit department……………and finally we were there to roll……….DSCN2635 then the groom and his family arrived………..In India………..”BARAAT” is a convoy that goes to the brides place for ceremonies and to take her back to the grooms place after them………..in earlier times………..the brides and grooms were from different villages………..so the family members and near dear ones used to go in decorated bullock carts to the brides village to get her…………singing songs making merry along………… nowadays it has changed……….with time it has evolved too………….now the groom’s family and near dear ones assemble near the venue………..they go dancing and making merry till the venue………..Vasutosh could not make it to the marriage………….. then there were ceremonies when we reached the venue…………..and our fun began……….. DSCN2660 DSCN2669 DSCN2670 DSCN2671 DSCN2672 DSCN2676 DSCN2720 DSCN2721 DSCN2730 DSCN2733 DSCN2734 DSCN2740 DSCN2780

Always plan ahead

Hi,

 

Today was light……….fun and sober………..woke up late………..then did stretches……………they were relaxing…………went to office………it was light too…………against my experience and past…………went on break on time as planned…………..there was no discrepancy…………everything went almost perfect…………Akshay had a accident last night………….he was silent most of the time………….not mocking me………….that was different……….and I cracked a few on him………….and as far as the reaction…………..they were hilarious…………then there was Abhishek tiwari……………shopping online……………showing us a website on which there was a 50% discount on Trojans…………..he suggested that we should give a carton of those to Abhishek kirar…………and the best part would be the home delivery……….. 😀 anyhow we have postponed this gift for him as of now……………everyone is planning…………to go to his reception…………but few selected are invited to his marriage………and it feels good to be one of those………..ceremonies must have started at his house from today onward………………Indian marriages have a lot of ceremonies………and every community has some diversions……………..except the main ceremony where Vows are taken…………..and there too there are differences………..so there is always some difference in every marriage…………..isn’t that amazing………..you can get married multiple times and every-time there is something different………..well that’s about Indian marriages…………..but what i am confused about is what should I wear on the day of his marriage……………..and on the day of his reception……………I have a suit………….that i have only pulled on once………….and then there is traditional kurta and paijama……………I sent a message to Abhishek kirar- the groom to confirm about my dress………….anyhow he must be busy after all the ceremonies…………..lets leave it for later…………..I have to get up early tomorrow………….I have not attended class in days…………….there would be wrath of the titans on me tomorrow……………and then the usual crap at office…………tomorrow would be a busy day………..and I have to take a haircut too………..there is no good hairstylist near my home…………and I don’t want to look like a slob in front of his whole family……………and obviously my friends………..we all would be groomsmen…………we all will have to keep up-to that…………..well I would decide everything on the move tomorrow………….hope you never get into this sort of trouble………….always plan ahead………….by the way here is another group photograph of us…………Image

and by the stalker at the back is another friend of mine Ankit sharma…………he is altogether a different case……….I wish this friendship stays a lifetime………..and if you get time do listen to Amr diab…………awesome Arabic music………….love it!