I don’t know how I feel anymore

Recently life has become a little stable on the professional front.

I was doing my thing and moving ahead in life.

But, life has something else in store for me.

I just want to be left alone and be happy living my life.

Family made me meet this girl to arrange my marriage.

Her family tried to look decent.

But, when I met the girl. She was dressed like she was not willing to get married.

That was the first red flag, but I ignored it as I liked her pictures sent to us by her family.

And she was well educated so I thought to give her a benefit of a doubt there

never ignore the first red flag, is my learning here.

My mom didn’t liked her appearance at all, she didn’t liked her.

we had a decent conversation post that I asked her about her dreams.

and I told her my future plans, and some random talks.

I asked her if she could cook, she said a little.

That was workable for me, as we cannot eat from restaurants all life long.

I told her I had a girlfriend in school and I drink beer in team parties.

I was being as honest as possible and I wanted to give her a chance to refuse marriage if she liked.

I don’t like to say no to people, I know it is something that has been impacting me.

but yes that’s me. stupid silly me.

this meeting ended and after this I contacted her via linkdin.

she accepted my invite and we exchanged numbers.

she was happy to be talking to me and I felt that we connected in the first meet so lets give it a try.

initially everything was good and nice, she was nice and everything.

then she slowly and gradually turned very demanding.

she was like what dresses would you buy for me, what perfumes etc.

Which ring will you give me in engagement ceremony.

I was dumbfound, a educated girl who is earning her living had these aspirations from her husband.

I thought no one is perfect and she might have said all this in the flow of emotions.

then she was like which cars will you buy for me etc.

I only asked her one thing that would she be able to cook for us, to which she replied she would keep a cook.

I was accepting her in every way, despite all her shortcomings.

She liked to drink, horsing around in parties and hookahs.

I was finding myself to be a much better person then her.

well I was almost certain to block her there. But, later that night she called and said that she loved me.

This happened in just one week, I thought maybe she was judging me and I passed.

But, the next day she was all different.

She said she is afraid when I asked her if she would marry me.

All I know is love conquers fears.

Her words were empty, in that one moment everything dawned on me.

Then I had to block her, I called her mom too.

Well… I learned that we should not like someone for their face value.

I think we should take a deep dive to know what is exactly there.

We might get some burns and heartache for some time in doing this.

But, isn’t that better then a lifetime of suffering?




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