Numb

Hi everyone,

Today I am feeling a little low on energy…….and almost numb mentally…….so I started goggling RAB……its a word that I think arabic in origin……not sure about it……but yes what I know is that it is a great word…….I feel that it defines god correctly…….concise and precise….so when I goggled it…….I got to know that it is the name of a place in Croatia

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…..and that place is very beautiful……almost perfect……maybe someday I would visit that place………but till then I am stuck here in my regular life……doing all the same stuff everyday……nothing new……nothing fresh………but yes I am sure…things will get better……and better……..maybe I would be old by the time its all sorted out……or maybe I die tomorrow……..so there might be nothing left for me to sort anymore……..who knows the future……but all I know is that I am not feeling good today……..and I want to do something that makes me feel good……….I arranged a bottle of whiskey for my friends……..I thought that this would make me happy……….but I am not feeling the pump or kick till now………I don’t feel like drinking today………but I would have to hold a drink for courtesy of my friends……..I see indifferent faces all around me……they don’t look at me and smile…….and that’s what I return……..maybe my mood is not good today because Upasana is standing in front of me and we are avoiding eye contacts……..it hurts but have to do it……..what would you choose between self-respect and love……..my choice would be love…….and even if you choose love……..and give me reasons solid enough to change my mind……..I would not……because I will like to bear a bad decision that I took rather then a decision someone persuaded me to take…..

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