07-02-21
Raat ke 3:20 ho rahe hai. Kab sota hu. Kab jaagta hu kuch hosh nahi rehta. Kal pura din bas doodh aur bread khai. Thodi der ke liye phone flight mode pe daala taki koi disturbance na ho. Utha to dekha duniya bhar ki missed calls aur msgs.
Umesh ne fir se email Kia tech m me. Senior management ko rakh ke. CEO etc. sab. Is baar bawal mach Gaya aur sab mujhe puchne aur dhoondhne lage. Shayad wo kaafi dil se chahta hai mera bura karna. Par waise hi is sab ne mujhse bohot kuch cheen Lia hai. Aur ab bhi bas kho hi raha hu. Sochta hu sab ko maaf kar du. Shayad mujhe thodi Shanti mile. Ye sab to mujhe maar kar hi maanenge.
Is ladai me kisi ko milna to kuch nahi hai. Par sabka jayega bohot kuch. Sapne, waqt, dil aur dimag ki shanti. Mera dimag to jhand ho chuka hai. Jaha tak sochta hu kisi ka kuch bigada nahi hai maine. Kahi na kahi kisi ka kuch banane me madad hi ki hogi. Par ye duniya hai sahab. Yaha kuch bhi hota hai. Aur kuch bhi hoga.
Chalo farz Kare ki Mai aaj mar gaya. Jaan kar mere maa baap aur bhai khush honge kyuke unki museebate kam ho jayengi. Uske ghar wale bhi khush ho jayenge kyu ki unka badla pura ho jayega. Deepesh bhi khush ke uski pareshaaniya kam ho gai par shayad wo apne Udhar diye paiso ke liye kaafi bura bhala kahega. Akshay ko shayad thoda jhatka lagega par jaldi hi sambhal jayega. Kuldeep ko dusra room mate mil jayega. Company ko dusra employee.
Mere sapne to reh jayenge. Log baat karte hai to dikhawe ki hamdardi dikhate hai. Mera dimag aaisa ho chuka hai ki ye pehchaan leta hai kaafi had tak kiska kya intention hai.
Kisi se umeed to ab rahi nahi. Na khud se koi ummeed bachi hai. Mai marunga to kuch din rone pitne ka dikhawa hoga. Kuch din baad sab sab kuch bhul kar apne apne life me involved ho jayenge. Waise bhi ab tak kaafi log kinaara kar chuke hai. Itna akelapan, kabhi na mile kisi ko.
Log agar kabhi 1 pal ko yaad bhi Karenge to Keh denge bura hua. Zyadatar kahenge harami tha. Kyuki kabhi kisi par zyada kharcha nahi. Wakil ko nuksaan hoga par uske paas koi kami to hai nahi pareshaan logo ki. Nagar ko bhi shayad jhatka lage par wo kuch palo se zyada ka nahi hoga. Jab wo tab Milne nahi aa paya to Marne pe bhi shayad hi aaye.
Gonda ko thoda dukh hoga par fir wo bhi jaldi hi thik ho jayega. Aacha admi hai gonda. Kaash uske saath zindagi me aacha ho.
Zimmedar kaun hoga meri maut ka? Batao. Kya wo sab log jinhone kinara kar lia. Ya wo log jinhone dilasa de kar saath nahi dia. Ya wo log jin se umeed thi par unhone aankhe fer li. Ankh ka paani Rukta nahi hai. Pata nahi isko kya chahiye. Pathra kar kaali to pad chuki hai. Par pathar se paani rukne ka naam nahi le raha.
Par ye to hai ki isme sab ki Khushi hai. Par Mai mythology pe research jo kar raha hu usme Kai way of thinking hai. Jisme se 1 hai rebirth. Mai deliberately chahta hu ki mujhe dubaara janam na mile. I want this Hindu doctrine to fail.
Chalo ab tak meri maut plausible hai aur beneficial bhi. Ab sochna ye hai ki karna Kaise hai. Faasi to mujh se lagegi nahi. This is a no no method for me. Accident me bachne ke chances kaafi rehte hai aur injury se bohot buri zindagi hogi aage agar bach Gaya to.
Zeher Kha ke marna plausible hai. Saath me neend ki golia taki kuch pata na chale. Par ye dono easily milte nahi hain. Iske baare me dekhta hu.
Agar Mai zinda rehta hu to jail jana pad sakta hai. Naukri ja sakti hai. Court kachehri me Umar nikal jayegi. Akele zindagi bitani padegi. Videsh to bhulna padega. Aur shayad paisa kaudi sab khatam ho jaye. Pyar aur saath..kyu apne saath mazak kar raha hu Mai.
Fir Mai karunga kya?